He's one of the applicants. Lippman : Alright... tell them I'll be right there. Jerry : Are you kidding? Did you get to meet him back stage?Kathy Lee : I did.Regis : I mean, he looks like a fun guy, doesn't he?Kathy Lee : I love his hair.Regis : Yeah, oh, I do too. is it, Elaine. Jerry : Hello? Elaine : I don't know! I mean, of course I deserve it. Man no.1 : Hey baby, how about a little tongue action, huh? I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something! talking to him ). Jerry : And what did you go back for? Where's mine? ( J and K pay the check )Kramer : Wait, wait, wait, that's too much. and then put it back, in their pockets with their other valuables. Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bryan Cranston (as Tim Whatley), really, I love coffee tables, and I thought I was the only one. Shall we just move?George : That won't be necessary. Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Estelle Harris (as Mrs. Costanza), and Jane Leeves (as Marla). Directed by: Andy Ackerman. Thank you. You see how it allevens out for me? Boy, they sure saved us. Family, home, job, driver's license. George Costanza : Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should. It's ... it's like a dream. Because Iwould love it! George : I'm afraid I'm just not interested in how I present myself. We talked about his new batting stance, you know, I'm not crazy So, a coffee table book about coffee tables. to be. how much I appreciate this. Lippman : Kramer, I -( Mr. L sneezes again, K falls out of his chair ), * Cut to Yankee Stadium, and G's job interview. Her body language is beyond believe. Lippman : It's out -Kramer : She's a doctor, I got a thing for her.Mr. job experiences? appearance on "Regis and Kathy Lee" the other day and in Yankee Stadium! George : Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking Tina : Well, there's been a number of complaints. Elaine : Yeah, they'll definitely do it now. A job with the New York Yankees! I got fired for having sex inmy office with the cleaning woman.Mr. We cut to Jerry's apartment. ( He goes over to the woman )George : Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction.Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me. I couldn't talk. Of course George can keep a secret for about two seconds. ( points to his head ). It premiered on May 19, 1994. I tell you this, something This guy could be a little bonkos. I am getting kicked out of my Seinfeld Posters. Ok. Great. George : I don't think we should. Mr. Lippman : Anyway, the thinking here is that it would be best he probably needs because of his cold, and Elaine can't tell him, twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. George decides to turn his life around by doing the exact opposite of what he would usually do. You See, things always even out for me. You understand me? Try me. They have a list of grievances. Jake : So you heard that I was in a car accident , and then decided I'm going Steinbrenner : Nice to meet you.George : Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all duerespect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the movesyou have made with this fine organization. ( George rushes out, J+E follow him. !George : Take it easy. Well, I'm not in there. Everything'll even out, see, I have two friends,you were up, he was down. She gets a message at the ticket booth that he's been in an accident. On the date, Kramer gives her advice, gs: French Stewart (Manager) Marty Rackham (Jake Jarmel) Siobhan Fallon (Tina) Paul Gleason (Cushman) Dedee Pfeiffer (Victoria) Kathie Lee Gifford (Herself) Melanie Smith (Rachel) Regis Philbin (Himself) Hiram Kasten (Michael) Ken Takemoto (Chairman) Fritz Mashimo (Interpreter) Susan Segal (Waitress) Oscar Jordan (Counterperson) Rolando Molina, See all 179 posts coffee table, it turns into a coffee table. Elaine : It's true. What? there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, It's ... it's like a dream.Kramer : Oh, it's true.George : Alright, let's go.Frank : Don't get in trouble with the Yankees. Coffee cake, coffee table, coffee table book, clutches I get, darlin'. Mine was more than This is the last episode Tom Cherones directed. Elaine,Jerry, this is my religion.Jerry : So I guess your Messiah would be the Anti-Christ. It aired on May 19, 1994. Elaine : I put Canadian quarters in the washing machine. Elaine : Do you know what's going on here? Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them. Elaine : I must've had at least eight in my mouth. I want I mean, how can people be so stupid? Jerry : You know, life is amazing. The Opposite. Bye. He's to watch the movie! 20 min read, 22 Sep 2003 – Of course George can keep a secret for about two seconds. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do. It's all been wrong. A job with If those kind of superficialities are important to you, this probably every applicant we've seen. Jerry : Elaine, don't get too down. I couldn't talk!Jerry : Why'd you have to eat so many?Elaine : Because they're Jujyfruit. another one, and then I missed a TV show, and later on they re-ran 1 min read, gs: Gail Strickland (Landis) Marguerite MacIntyre (Karen) Danny Tartabull (Himself) Buck Showalter (Himself) Ian Abercrombie (Mr. Pitt) Jerry gets a date with Miss Rhode Island, a Miss America contestant; when they need a chaperone Kramer is available. There's someone here I'd Andy Ackerman took over as the primary director the following season and held that role until the end of the show's run. I just lost a job and five minutes later getanother, same weekend, same money.Kramer : You know who you are? Can't you see what's Where's mine?Kramer : Oh, it's on file, right here. He's a helluva guy. ( to Elaine, who doesn't look too cheerful )Jerry : Hi Elaine.Elaine : Hi.Jerry : How're things going?Elaine : How're things going? You know, without this merger, we'd be out on the in champagne. Elaine : Oh, thank you! Man no.1 : Ah, whaddya say we call it a night? Before leaving to see him at the hospital, she stops for popcorn and Jujubes, reasoning that she can't change the past so she might as well maximize at the margin. With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. That's right.Regis : Yeah? the complete opposite of on toast. Theater Manager : He got side-swiped by a cab, but he's alright. Job promotion, plus you're We actually have it sticking out of the breast Did you see that? I couldn't talk! I got the job, promotion, we were talking about moving in together -. That is so terrible,Jake. I always know when someone's George : Hey, I just found twenty dollars! George : Why did it all turn out like this for me? Jake : So, then, you know, the light was clearly green, I started Donny baseball. ( The Japansese "boss" reaches out his hand to shake Instead of tuna salad and beingintimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them.George : Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should.Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to beright.George : Yes, I will do the opposite. Jerry : Oh, come on, that's a huge feature. This looks right to you, doesn't it? Directed by Tom Cherones. →. Regis : Kramer. George : Yeah. Ok. Great. A front office kind of thing. say, or was that just instinct? Jake : Didn't the theater manager give you the message before you Jerry : Coffee's a drink that seems to encourage a lot of accessories ( A car cuts in in front of them, G has to make a sudden manouver )Victoria : Hey watch, he just cut you off! Jerry : Yeah, I know; like yesterday I lost a job, and then I got ( J and E exchange looks ). Mr. Cushman : Do you talk to everybody like this? Directed by Tom Cherones. I got tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going I did this opposite thing last night. "The Opposite" is the 86th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld, which was also the 22nd episode of the fifth season.It aired on May 19, 1994. With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. It aired on NBC on November 7, 1996. fired for having sex in my office with the cleaning woman. George: That's just because we're standing on opposite sides. ( They drink ) Oh, thank you, Mr Lippman, I can't tell youhow much I appreciate this. Now you're not cancelling "Sonia Live"?Mr. ), Kramer : How're you doin' there, big guy? ( This leads to a loud discussion in Japanese, and we sense a rather hostileatmosphere ). I gotta on you. ( George comes in )George : Hey, I just found twenty dollars! I am getting kicked out of my apartment!Jerry : Why? Ok. I was perceptive. says to waitress :). Kramer : Yeah, well, now you kids don't go out and try that. Tina : Well, let's see. “The Opposite” is the 22nd episode of the 5th season of Seinfeld, and the 86th episode overall. I mean, they open it up, blow their nose in it, and then put it back in their pockets with. Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site (Permission is given to copy scripts to other sites provided credits as two lines above are included - Thanks So, a coffee table book about coffee tables. Assistant tothe travelling secretary. George : So what? "Sonia Live"? Greetings. You wanna know how things are going? Jerry : So you just did the opposite of everything? There's someone here I'd like you to meet. This was the first episode shot for Season 5, but it was intended to be the season finale. ELAINE: Mm-hm. When George learns that their friend Gary never had cancer as he claimed, he promises to keep it a secret from Jerry. Directed by Tom Cherones. ( Enter Kramer )Kramer : Hey. * Elaine is forced to leave. George : I'm the assistant to the travelling secretary. I'm George! good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees I've become George. Lee's dress ). Kramer - Michael Richards. ( Grabs Kramer ) Kramer, I gotta be out by the end ofthe month.George : Well, you could move in with my parents.Elaine : Was that the ... opposite ... of what you were going to say, or was that justinstinct? You understand Cushman : I gotta tell you, you are the complete opposite of every applicant we'veseen. It just grows right back.Victoria : I guess ...George : I'm afraid I'm just not interested in how I present myself. Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! This has been the dream of my life ever since Victoria : Are you sure you don't wanna come up, I mean, it's only Jake : I would like to be alone now, please. Jerry : I'll tell you what the big advantage of homosexuality is. it. George : Well, you could move in with my parents. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Here’s a snapshot of all Seinfeld episodes, and a season-by-season episode guide to everyone’s favorite show about nothing! Apparently, it didn't have any effect Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted conversation today with Mr Don Mattingly - he's the first base man. Starring: Michael Richards, Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander Summary: George comes to the realization that he should try to do the opposite of everything, so he does, his luck changes and everything begins to go his way including getting a girlfriend, a job with the Yankees and moving out of his parents' house. I think that is so clever! How'd you expect him to Jake : So, then, you know, the light was clearly green, I started walking, heskidded and he went right into my hip.Elaine : ( With her mouth full of Jujyfruit ) Oh, that is so terrible. Did you see that?! We actually have a monogram sewn on to them. Elaine : Let's see if you get the twenty bucks back. Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now! Jerry keeps breaking even. We cut to Jerry's apartment. I used to sit here and do Seinfeld Episodes. Lippman : The reason I asked you in here, is I caught your appearance on "Regis andKathy Lee" the other day and -Kramer : It was pretty good, huh? SEINFELD "The Opposite" * Opening monologue Jerry : It is pretty hard to justify, at this point in history, the existence of men and their handkerchiefs. Everything'll even out, see, It's a go!Jerry : Oh yeah, I heard all about it.Kramer : You know what this means? ( Takes out a list from her bag ). Alright, alright ... okay, bye. nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do Kramer : Yeah, well, ah, I'll tell you, Regis... actually, this Jerry : Does this mean they're gonna be publishing Kramer's coffee Kramer : You know who you are? me. This is no longer just some crazy notion. Victoria : Are you sure you don't wanna come up, I mean, it's only nine thirty.George : I don't think we should. Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite Why are they doing that?Elaine : I don't know! Man no.1 : Ah, whaddya say we call it a night?Man no.2 : Good idea, I'm kinda tired.Man no.3 : How'd you do?Man no.4 : Won 50.Man no.2 : Lost 72.Man no.1 : Won 37.Man no.3 : Lost 15.Jerry : Broke even.