Event attendees often ask me … Weijian Li, Yuxiao Chen, Tianran Hu, and Jiebo Luo. "This is amazing!" ... is more than enough to cover all of the fries produced by McDonalds next year. He copies-and-pastes the drink to five other bars and requests that they become a fan of it, then bills the first bar for six drinks. The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. ”Not a horse but a donkey. I reckon if someone's turned blue, it's a bit late to be debating whether or not their life matters anyway. Pet spiders are cheaper to buy off the web. Friend - "That's not the truth, there is no such law Arab countries". The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. In Proceedings of the 12th International AAAI Conference on Web and Social Media (ICWSM’18). A train station is where a train stops. They said I could become anything. source, This long word comes from two Greek words meaning “beyond expectation.”. ... said one of the jokesters even seemed to be posting one-liners from a hospital bed. Although initially created for personal use, social media is particularly important for many business marketing strategies. Create a meme for social media. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. She’s 97 now and we have no idea where she is. When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. ~Andretti. eCommerce. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. He won’t expect it back. I’m missing you, but my aim is improving. Tip: Use topical news stories in your social media posts to make your brand look more fun and up-to-date. But first, it will piss you off. And at least ten at night. Other times I let her sleep. Then it dawned on him. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming. Some people hear voices. ~Ford Prefect. I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you. So go on, please share this post now. You’re never too old to learn something stupid. Not as a full time job just a way to make hens meet. Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. I had beautiful wives, every one beautiful, talented and now rich. I live in my own little world. The saying “Getting there is half the fun” became obsolete with the advent of budget airlines. Filed Under: Social Media Tips Tagged With: quotes. ~Einstein, A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. Two wrongs don’t make a right, three lefts do. His arms were in casts. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. I wondered what the Paper Company was doing with an Instagram account so I decided to check them out. You’re just insignificant. Turns out a large percentage of their posts were about, But it's still not as sensitive as a vegan on social media. I’ve also got another 2 liners and they've been the most comfortable soft liners for our baby girl while fighting leukaemia. Mining the relationship between emoji usage patterns and personality. You’re just insignificant. I’ve seen too many of them get elected. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor. Marriage to me brings out the best in a woman: chastity. Disclosure, Copyright, and Affiliate Disclaimer. I vote we change her name to Mount St Karen..as a warning for future generations. Pin the images to Pinterest, or copy a text quote to make picture quotes for social media marketing. Broken promises don’t upset me. That way, you will be a mile away and he won’t have any shoes. ~Confucius. Check out this extensive list and pick out a few favorites. ~Homer Simpson, Go to heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Be careful about reading health books. I don’t know why they told me I’m innumerate, it doesn’t add up. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know. (by Unknown) 2. I thought I would share these one-liner cow jokes. I have a lot of growing up to do. ~Mark Twain. Text one or more of them to your friend or family member. I asked my 32 other siblings and they’ve got no idea either. ~Tommy Cooper. Strong emotions are stupid and should be hated. Set a lawyer on fire, he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. I sleep eight hours a day. When baking … Funny Foody Jokes One-liners Read More » A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. If tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? All of us could take a lesson from the weather. ~Demetri Martin. March 11, 2020 by Louise Myers 2 Comments. Because everyone on there is just talking to themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln. Now I’m not sure. I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long. I was asked to name all the presidents…I thought they already had names. How much money you can save with GEICO Renters Insurance. Paraprosdokians are clever, surprising sayings, where the ending presents an unexpected twist. In that order! A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. To steal from many is research. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks. ~Peter H.Diamandis. Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old. I’m a heroine addict. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. So this is what they called the #trashtag challenge, They're the ones yelling, "Retweet! © 2021 Louise Myers Visual Social Media. I get the same effect just standing up these days. I miss my ex so often, I really need a laser sight. Have a look at these witty one liners. It’s easy to tell when a lawyer is lying as their lips move. Maar kende je deze 16 oneliners al? Baker One-liners and Puns A baker stopped making doughnuts after he got tired of the hole thing. ”why the Long face” Did you ever notice the long face of donkeys? The facebook user says "I've got to go home and spend time with the wifey.". Women’s rights impress me as much as their lefts. These two companies are my pick for the best of the liners on social media. You are what you eat, which may contains nuts. I used to be indecisive. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Be sure to link to a resource or news article as well. Food Jokes on this Page Baker One-liners and Puns 7 Cook One-liners Chicken or Duck? At the art of giving, he stops at nothing. Covid19 may be winding down, but a brand new virus, the ID10t virus, is spreading like wildfire. Study looks at jokes about doctors to examine use of social media in health care research. It must be all those social media influenzas. Do you like a play on words, or on a stage? I saw a sign that said “watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade” ~Demetri Martin. A fine is a tax for doing bad, so a tax must be a fine for doing good. To keep fit my grandmother walks five miles a day. If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive. ~Phyllis Diller. Haha, leuke grap oom Gert. Kennen jullie dat? Your argument is sound, just sound, lots of sound. One time a guy handed me a picture and said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. "How lucky is it that I sit right next to one of the hottest women on social media? I’m great at multi-tasking. ~Zach Galifianakis, The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. With music bumping, and social media blowing up with post about where it was, tons of fans were trying to get in, but bouncers turned them all away unless Cardi B gave approval herself.